why???

sometimes i wonder.....
y can only birds fly?
y do they have wings......why not me?
why can't i spread my wings and fly away.....
just walk alone a path and sway.....
why can't i walk on water??
why can't i do everything just later....?
why can't i wipe everyone's tear?
why can't i stop the injustice done to people?
why can't i stop the injustice done to me?
why do people say 'ME'...and why not 'WE'???
why do people try to be iconoclastic?
why today peoples' emotions are turning into plastic?
why is life so monotonous?
why is it not always good to be boisterous?
why has life become so insipid?
why is it necessary to take everything in good spirit?
why people kill each other?
why do they hate each other so much?
why can't i spread love and peace all over?
why can't i make some difference in this world??
why......???

this is for HIM......

"its funny when you find yourself

looking from the outside,

i'm standing here but all i want

is to be over there,

why did i let myself believe

miracles could happen,

cause now i have to pretend

that i dont really care..........."

yes....i want to be there...there with u.....i want to be with u,feel ur presence....want to understand u.....i felt that u r the one for me....the best thing that can happen till now...just like magic...miracle!!whenever your thought crosses my mind...i smile,feel so happy....i really think that one day we will be together.....but i just cant express my feelings for u.....just cant...dont know why....and thus i have to pretend as if it really doesnt matter to me!!that its ok....though u know what i feel......

"i thought you were my fairytale

a dream when i am not sleeping,

a wish upon a star

thats coming true......

but everybody else could tell

that i confused my feelings with the truth

when there was me and you............"

u are more than reality to me......i had always dreamnt about someone like u.....a beautiful human being....thats how i would describe u.....whenever u are around...everything suddenly seems more beautiful....brighter....better to me....i feel as if there is nothing impossible left in the world.....that i can do everything.....that i can tell u about my feelings .....(but again....i just cant!!...something stops me....)....there have been instances when people have told me to forget u.....to move on....thats its just infatuation....that i have still not met the one.....but how could i??...everytime i see u....i feel something that i never feel for anybody else.....from the day one of adolscence i have been liking u and no one else......because i know for me u r THE one.......

"i swore i knew the melody

that i heard you singing,

and when you smiled

you made me feel

like i could sing along.....

but then you went and changed the words

now my heart is empty,

i'm only left with used to be's

once upon a song...."

there were times when i thought that even u had the same feelings for me as i have for u.....certain actions taken by u...certains words uttered by u.....they just made me feel so...or rather i think i wanted to think that way......but then i decided to start living in reality...and to accept the truth....and start taking up the right meaning....and stop deducing meanings that would soothe my heart.......it did hurt me.....i could see that slowly my dreams were coming to an end.....i dont know....maybe they r...or maybe they r not......

"now i know you are not a fairytale

and dreams were meant for sleeping,

and wishes on a star

just dont come true.....

cause now even i could tell

that i confused my feelings with the truth,

cause i liked the view

when there was me and u........."

i have now started to live in reality.....no more dreamy...mushy world for me....dreams look good because they are far away from reality.....though it would have given me immense happiness to live in my own dreamworld.....but i know it would have been equally painful when i would have opened my eyes......i have learnt that merging ones feelings,thoughts,illusions with the truth results in nothing.....few years back i didnt understand this.....cause i just felt that u too........but never mind its not necessary.....

"i cant believe that

i could be so blind

it's like you are floating

while i was falling

and i didnt mind........

cause i liked the view

thought you felt it too

when there was ME and YOU......."

i am not among the weak crowd.....i love to be practical in life.....but in your case i have just decided to put a blindfold and complete the rest of my journey of life......because i trust u.....but again i forgot.....its ME who loves u.....i am absolutely unaware of your feelings towards me.....ur certain words have confused me.....but i dont want to indulge into it any further......i dont want to draw any conclusions either......i dont even expect anything from u....cuz i believe that i can love u...but i cant make u love me.....but the only thing that i know is that....i HAVE loved u.....i love u.....and i WILL keep loving u for the rest of my life....and my feeling towards u is very pure, honest and innocent.......

(song courtesy : high school musical)

ho!..hum...phew!!!

Thursday is usually a gud day for all of us....cuz clg begins late..(yes!yes!..hehe)...nd we get ovr early aswell.....but today wasnt a vry gr8 day for me.... :(

As i had mentioned earlier that i dint go to clg for the past 2 days....i thought atleast today i wud b able to see my frnds...after 2 gud days!(not that i was really missin them...heehee.....hey..i was ok!..it was a bad joke!)...neways....sumthing vry unexpected happenend!...neither of them turned up....nd they dint even bother to inform me about their lovely absence!!....throughout the comm skills..(thats COMMUNICATION SKILLS...)lec i kept turning back so that i cud see atleast one of my frnd cumin...but..lo!..all in vein!!!...as it is i dont understand the need to have a comm skills lec...we do NUTHING!..absolutely nuthin durin that lec!...sheer waste of time....i mean c'mon...we r big enough..we dont have to continue writin precis at this age!...yuck...boring!!...

Then came HINDI.....man...all we did in today's lec was to write the meanings of certain wrds!!..hello ma'am wake up...uuu-hooo....we dont want to do it!!....we know them already!!(as it is one cant expect much frm our hindi prof...she has even gone up to the extent of teaching us...SWARN nd VYANJAN!!!!...jesus!!!

Then we had eco......SHILPA MORE!!!!!yuck yuck!!!!....wat she says...only she herself can understand!!!...man she rattofyies evrythin..nd just blabbers watevr she has learnt!!!...in today's lec she just repeated watevr she did in the last lec....this woman...she always repeats things using different forms...nd then we all become confused....oh god pls HELP!!!!...howevr today she left us early...yeah SHILPA left us early...i was like...whoa man...wats up with her?...heehee!!!

Then watelse to do...no 1 to hang arnd with...(as it is i usually dont hang arnd after clg....we dont have newhere to go!!!)...all i did was to walk up to the bus stop....nd then as usual was waitin for 28 no. bus....now this bus troubles me a lot...nvr comes on time!!....i have even waited for the bus for as long as 1 hr 45 mins...gosh!!!!pah!...but today dunno but the bus gave me a surprise....it came there as soon as i reached the stop!!...who...i was delighted......then nuthing interesting happened...went to VT station...walked down the subway...caught the train....came back home!!!(nothing interesting happened in train

either....(nowdays i dont witness many catfites!!lols!!!).....

Hmm....as of now this is wat has happened to me.....lets see wat is there in store for me in the evening.....borin life yaar!!!:(

wat a boring day!!!..phew!!

heya evryone out there....m new to all this blogging stuff....but thought its better to write rather than just waste my time.....nd as it is my mom!!!...she bored me to death until i had resumed writing....so mom...here i go!!!

hmm....one thing i must admit is that it is really borin to sit at home...specially when ur frnds r out there in clg havin fun!!...man y me!its been 2 days nd i havent been to clg....hey no scholarly attitude ok..i go there to meet my frnds!..nd yeah attendence ofcourse...who wud njoy to see their name in the blacklist....nd then have a lovely chat with the vice principal?..aaa...pls not me atleast!!

rite now the only wrk i have is to do nuthing!..all i did since mornin was to get up at 10 am....brush..pah!..sit read the newspaper.....aaa..specially the zodiac coloumn..man i love to read it...hehe..strange na....but still..afterall its me!then took a bath...did orkuttin...(yeah its one of my fav past time!!!)...made a potrait...man it was so damn weird.....nd now m writing this blog.....dunno wat exactly i'll b doin in the evening....i guess nuthin but orkuttin...nd then watch FRIENDS!!!:)

so guys this is me.....nd yeah my borin day!!!...i hope tomorrow will b a much better day.....heehee!!

love ya lots
tc
neha!!