this is for HIM......

"its funny when you find yourself

looking from the outside,

i'm standing here but all i want

is to be over there,

why did i let myself believe

miracles could happen,

cause now i have to pretend

that i dont really care..........."

yes....i want to be there...there with u.....i want to be with u,feel ur presence....want to understand u.....i felt that u r the one for me....the best thing that can happen till now...just like magic...miracle!!whenever your thought crosses my mind...i smile,feel so happy....i really think that one day we will be together.....but i just cant express my feelings for u.....just cant...dont know why....and thus i have to pretend as if it really doesnt matter to me!!that its ok....though u know what i feel......

"i thought you were my fairytale

a dream when i am not sleeping,

a wish upon a star

thats coming true......

but everybody else could tell

that i confused my feelings with the truth

when there was me and you............"

u are more than reality to me......i had always dreamnt about someone like u.....a beautiful human being....thats how i would describe u.....whenever u are around...everything suddenly seems more beautiful....brighter....better to me....i feel as if there is nothing impossible left in the world.....that i can do everything.....that i can tell u about my feelings .....(but again....i just cant!!...something stops me....)....there have been instances when people have told me to forget u.....to move on....thats its just infatuation....that i have still not met the one.....but how could i??...everytime i see u....i feel something that i never feel for anybody else.....from the day one of adolscence i have been liking u and no one else......because i know for me u r THE one.......

"i swore i knew the melody

that i heard you singing,

and when you smiled

you made me feel

like i could sing along.....

but then you went and changed the words

now my heart is empty,

i'm only left with used to be's

once upon a song...."

there were times when i thought that even u had the same feelings for me as i have for u.....certain actions taken by u...certains words uttered by u.....they just made me feel so...or rather i think i wanted to think that way......but then i decided to start living in reality...and to accept the truth....and start taking up the right meaning....and stop deducing meanings that would soothe my heart.......it did hurt me.....i could see that slowly my dreams were coming to an end.....i dont know....maybe they r...or maybe they r not......

"now i know you are not a fairytale

and dreams were meant for sleeping,

and wishes on a star

just dont come true.....

cause now even i could tell

that i confused my feelings with the truth,

cause i liked the view

when there was me and u........."

i have now started to live in reality.....no more dreamy...mushy world for me....dreams look good because they are far away from reality.....though it would have given me immense happiness to live in my own dreamworld.....but i know it would have been equally painful when i would have opened my eyes......i have learnt that merging ones feelings,thoughts,illusions with the truth results in nothing.....few years back i didnt understand this.....cause i just felt that u too........but never mind its not necessary.....

"i cant believe that

i could be so blind

it's like you are floating

while i was falling

and i didnt mind........

cause i liked the view

thought you felt it too

when there was ME and YOU......."

i am not among the weak crowd.....i love to be practical in life.....but in your case i have just decided to put a blindfold and complete the rest of my journey of life......because i trust u.....but again i forgot.....its ME who loves u.....i am absolutely unaware of your feelings towards me.....ur certain words have confused me.....but i dont want to indulge into it any further......i dont want to draw any conclusions either......i dont even expect anything from u....cuz i believe that i can love u...but i cant make u love me.....but the only thing that i know is that....i HAVE loved u.....i love u.....and i WILL keep loving u for the rest of my life....and my feeling towards u is very pure, honest and innocent.......

(song courtesy : high school musical)