Change

Earlier I was completely aversive to the idea of change. Change was that word which induced an uncomforting feeling in me. I was so sensitive towards it that my insides churned and twisted everytime I thought of the various changes that have and that will occur in my life. I always, ALWAYS preferred to live in a small, clustered world of mine, which was very very secure. Any thing which I thought would be a potential source of change in life, I would avoid it, be it a thing, situation or a person.

But like someone said ‘’People change as time changes, you see’’, and now I completely agree to that. Infact everything around us changes, its forever changing. Sometimes we notice the change, most of the time the change goes unnoticed, because we choose not to notice. I always preferred to ignore the change, very consciously most of the times as I said it is not a very comfortable thing for me. But I’ve seen me changing, a change which I think is for good. I have changed so much and so fast that when I look back I ask myself ‘’Oh! My God! Was that really me? I used to think like that? Look like that? Do stuff like that?’’ And since the change was positive I enjoyed it. I loved it. So then I questioned why am I so opposed to the negative or let’s put it in another way, less positive or less favourable changes in life? Why am I so closed to them? Why do I not handle them in a more matured way?

Why a change in institution affect me so badly? Or why the fact that a childhood friend now has changed and spends a little more time with his girlfriend irritates me? Or why the fact that a friend who leaves the city or country leaves me with the most uncomfortable feeling on earth with the idea that I may probably never be able to see that person again and that the person will forget me? Or why as a matter of fact that if I leave this place, I might be leaving behind everything and everyone I own and know?

Insecurity is what you may term this as. But its not insecurity. I am not an insecure person at all, I fear the change, used to fear the change. I don’t anymore, and that is very comforting. I have realized that change is the only constant thing in life, the sooner you accept it, better it is. Life is much much much more easier now that I have accepted the fact that change is inevitable and necessary aswell. No more angst in me because of this. I am a very happy person at this point of time. Changes have occurred, perspective has broadened, better things have happened and maturity has dawned in.  (Hopefully!)

I will love any change. A change in the world, in my life, in me or in you. 

PS: I wrote a small post on how much I hate/dislike change, maybe a year back, and now look at the 'change' in me ;-)