New Start

From now I will be blogging here : http://theopeneyeddreamer.blogspot.com/

Hope to see you around :)

Defunct

I've been wanting to do this for very long but for the past few months I just did not get the time to update this space. I don't think I will be updating my blog anymore from now on. It's like they say is 'defunct'.

I won't delete the blog ever, more because some of my closest people don't want me to and also this blog stands as one of the various proofs of the 'change' in me.
It will be my best place to come back if ever I would want to retrospect. But that will be it.

I may start writing in a new space, but this will be my first love forever :)

Thank you to everyone who actually had the patience to sit and read my stuff.

Will miss you all and the tiny little cyber space of mine.

Cat love?

 This is a very very interesting tag which I flicked from The Rain Crab's blog. Its hilarious, quite fun to do. So if you like it, then goooo take it up! ;-)


Dear Jango,
I don't really know how to tell you this,I am in love with your cat. I think I realized it when I tripped on peanut butter in your apartment and I saw you sit on my salt beef bucket. I'm sure you're Masochistic enough to understand that I get turned on only by garbage men. I'm returning your Hannah Montana underwear to you, but I'll keep your glass eye as a memory. You should also know that I never forget that night and I'm scratching my head as you read this. 
Love always,
Neha


How you do it
Dear (someone you recently talked to),
I don't really know how to tell you this,(1). I think I realized it (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).
(12),
(Your name)


1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you
Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When you smacked my elbow
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When I saw the purple monkey
August - When I finally changed my underwear
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog bit my leg
December - When i threw out your sock drawer

3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Chicken- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Seafood - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Other - With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bite off
Orange - rubbed anti-bacterial soap on
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over

5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey –The Catholic Priest
Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Other --The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Gossip Girl - Middle-class
Annat -shamed

7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks

8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear

9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - My virginity
C/D - Your photo with the mustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbors dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your sucide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Love your sweet, sweet lips
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F -Never will forget that night
G/H – Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard.
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Hate your cooking
M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - Get sick when I think of your feet
S/T - Always wanted to break your legs
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you

11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water – I'm scratching my head as you read this
Cider– You ruined my attempts at another world war.
Juice – I have a passionate interest for mice
Snapple/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked out
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose

12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Best of luck on the sex change
Egypt – Kiss my butt
England - Go drown yourself

P.S. I Love You

She meets him, falls in love, gets together with him, lives happily..but not ever after...she loses him. But even after she loses him, she knows that he is around, she knows that he is there..somewhere! This love, this film...I can just watch this film over and over and over again. Yes yes you guessed it right I am a sucker for such romantic flicks, and especially this one.

But I have one problem with the book/film and that is the portrayal of this certain character called Gerry Kennedy! Oh my god! Why? Why did Cecelia Ahern create a character like this? He is nothing but PERFECT! He is IDEAL! He is that man that every girl possibly dreams about, but deep down knows that her chances of meeting someone like him is next to impossible. She then searches for a Gerry Kennedy in every guy she meets, which is unfair for both the girl and the man! And then there is disappointment, despair followed by statements such as ''All men are jerks/assholes/bastards!''

Well I also belong belonged to that category once upon a time, but then I realized that one shouldnt search for a Gerry Kennedy in every man she meets, but instead should search or more better find her Gerry Kennedy. Well Holly got hers, did you get yours, as of yet?

P.S. I Love You.

P.P.S. I always did! :-)

Aasman ko choone ki tamanna thi itni

Unko paane ki tammanna thi itni

Ki gardish mein bhi khone se nahi dare

Aur aankhon mein unki tasveer lekar bas chal diye

Hazaaron khwahishein bas dil mein lekar chal diye

Socha ki bas ab mil gaya pura jahan unhe

Baahon mein baahein daal kar chal diye

Par masoomiyat thi itni, ki kahin raah mein bhool gaye,

Ki raaste itne bhi aasan nahi,

Aur gardish mein shayad kahin who bhi kho gaye….

Blah

''You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes
Yeah you, PMS
Like a bitch
I would know

And you
Over-think
Always speak
Cryptically

Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down

You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up

You!
You don't really want to stay, no
You!
But you don't really want to go-oh''

Yes, my condition at this point of time!

Five people and the rain

PG admission form hunt.

Humid day. Very!

Westside. AC. Awesome dress. No cash. Disappointment :-(

Piccadilly. Shawarma. Happiness :-p

Mcdonald's. No food (for me). Lots of yak-yaking. Two new friends.

Colaba stretch. Hunt for courier shop. Crowded M.O.D. Empty Theo's :-(

Search for 'sasta' courier shop. Losing the thing to courier. Finding the thing to courier. Finally couriering the stuff.

Thumbs-up (Coke chahiye? Abey! Thumbs up hai...bolna chahiye na! Extra fizz!!!!!). Old monk. Thumbs-up + Old monk. Cab.

''I need to finish it before SHE comes!!''
''Forget that, how will you throw the old-monk ka bottle?''
''I'll throw out re! Its fun!!''
''Oh shit! I cant, police ka van peeche hai!''
''Now?''
''Will leave it in the cab! Hahahaha!!''

Marine drive. Five people. Awesome weather. High tides. Rains.

Two umbrellas. One windcheater. Five cell phones. Extremely important admission forms. One big not-so-water-proof bag!

Drenching in rain. Thundering. Lightning. MARINE DRIVE.

Forty-five minutes wait for the bus. No bus.

Start walking towards VT (Yes, you read right). Heavy rains, hitting your face like stones. Water log, knee high.

Walk. Walk. Walk.

Hide&Seek biscuits. Lays (Tangy tomato!!). All while walking in the rain.

One hour. Destination reached.


Crowded train. Drenched us. Irritated ladies. Extremely cold us. One more hour of journey.

Home.

 Remembered someone and the song went buzzing in the head:
''Jab mila tu, ru tu ru ..
Na thi kami na justaju, ru tu ru ..
Aur aadhe aadhe pal huye phir poore yun
Jab mila tu, ru tu ru ..''

In all an awesome day!

Five people and the rain :-)

T.A.G

1. It's 2AM and you are not home. You are more than likely:
A) Having a sleep over at Moon di's place.

2. What's the last thing you spent more than $100 on?

 A) I dont remember. My phone I guess.

3. What do your bank checks look like?

A) I still don't have one. :-(
Maybe I'll have one after 2 years and then I will be able to answer this question :-D

4. Where did the shirt you are currently wearing come from?

A) Colaba Causeway! 

5. Name something that will be on your Christmas wish list:

A) Oh that trip!

6. What color is your toothbrush?

A) Purple :-D

7. Name something you collect and tell us about it.

A) I collect BOOKS and SHOES. I just go crazy when I see any bookstore or shoe-store.

8. Last restaurant you ate at. Who were you with? How was it?

A) Just yesterday ; Cafe Leopold (Mumbai). I was with Moon di and her friend Fawda (Pratik). The food was good, but the quantity was huge! I got tired of eating and couldnt even finish whatever I had ordered. :-(

9. Who was the last person you bought a birthday card for?

A) Birthday Card? I dont remember, who buys cards now? That thing of giving cards is long gone, but I love receiving and giving cards! A simple card, all of a sudden...nice surprise! :-)

10. What is your worst bad habit?

A) I have a problem of thinking 'too much.' Why? Where? So does this mean that...does that mean this? So what will happen now? How? What..? Blah blah blah!

11. Name a magazine you subscribe to?

A) Reader's Digest.

 12. Your favorite pizza toppings?

A) Like I had mentioned in the previous tag...lots of chicken and nothing very sweet will do!

13. Whose number were you looking up the last time you used a phone book?

A) Mom. I only call her :-p

14. Other than family, who is the person that you love most?

A) The 'Sexy' guy ;-)

15. What is the last thing you cooked?

A) Maggi. For myself.

16. Name something you wouldn't want to buy used?

A) Actually I wouldnt like to buy anything used.

17. Which shoe do you put on first?

A) I have never noticed! I think its right.

18. What is the last thing you remember losing?

A) I would looooovveee to mention MY HEART! Lol, so cheesy and so not me, but I did..!! Haha!
Apart from that I lost my eraser. Small thing no? But I usually don't loose my stuff!

19. What is the ugliest piece of furniture in your house?

A) There is one box I want to get rid of, but my Mom wont let me! Argh!

20. Last thing you bought and ended up returning?

A) Nothing, but I would love to return some stuff and get better ones in exchange, but they usually dont allow that.Very unfortunate!

21. What perfume/cologne do you wear? If none, why?

A) David doff. I would love to use Chanel 5 though!

22. Your favorite board game?

A) Taboo? Is Taboo a board game? I guess not, but I love to play Taboo. Also I remember playing BUSINESS. All the fake money and the power over cities, banks, and other stuff! Wow, I felt like a Queen ;-)

23. What was the last board game you played?

A) 16th January, college night-out and we played LIFE.

24. Where did your vehicle come from?

A) I don't own one.

25. If a movie was made about your life what would the theme song be?

A) Right now it would be : BREAKAWAY by Kelly Clarkson.

26. You're sad, who can cheer you up easily?

A) Certain people. Apart from them F.R.I.E.N.D.S and Andaz Apna Apna.

27. What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to?

A) I have never been to a Christian wedding and in hindu weddings the concept of bridesmaid doesnt exist!

28. What house cleaning chore do you hate to do the most?

A) Filling up the water bottles. I dodge that work like crazy!

29. What is your favorite way to eat chicken?

A) Anyway will do.

30. It is your birthday. You hope the cake is?

A) Chocolate. I dont like black forrest and I dont like any other fruit-flavoured cake!


I picked up this tag from It Ain't That Simple, Baby 's blog. Very nicely done there :-)

I tag anyone who reads this and wishes to do it.

Ah! Tags are so sooo sooo much fun! I dont know why, but they are! :-D

Happy me!

So, today is one of those days when I am HIGH. High on happiness, me blah blah. Sounds lame? But I cant help it, I dont get high on alcohol, trust me. Alcohol doesnt work on me, not that I have tried getting high many times, but then I did try and it dint work, and instead I get high just like that! (Crazy woman on loose!!! :-p)

I was really really low for the past few days. Confused, angry, sad, irritated etc. It was like I was surrounded with so much negativity. It was not a very good phase. Thank God it was just for few days!

Anyway, I am back to being the happy-me! No more sadness, no more negativity. So, I decided to go out and have some fun. My friend (Moon di) and I went to town where we met one of her friends Fawda (thats what they call him, but his good name is Pratik). We went to have lunch at Cafe Leopold, where they had loads and loads of food, and I just got tired of eating. Damn! I couldnt even finish my meal :-(

Loads of alcohol testing happened, he checked all the 'shes' out and we checked all the 'hes' out. Sometimes its fun! And especially these firangs! What are they made up of? Like one of my friend says ''They are so delicious!''. Haha! I am not even getting there ;-)

After lunch we went to EROS for a film : The Prince of Persia. I wasnt really keen, but then Moon di pulled me for it. I love going to these stand-alone theatres, they are old and its sometimes good to go these places instead of the multiplexes. Its a nice 'change' ;-)

I loved the movie. Actually 'someone' said that that someone had downloaded the film and thus was supposed to give it to me. But I think that someone is very 'busy', and I dont think I will get ANY film and thus land up watching no films during my holidays, which I dont want to happen. So I went for the film. And it was a good decision. :-)

After the film we went to one of my favourite places : MARINE DRIVE. This place is divine. You are happy go to Marine Drive, you can celebrate your happiness there. You are sad, go to Marine Drive, you can share your sorrow there. This place is magical!

Then we were back home.

I loved every inch of this day. And what I love more is that I am back to being HAPPY! :-D

To LIFE,

''Baby, I'd love you to want me,
The way that I want you, the way that it should be'' :-)

Change

Earlier I was completely aversive to the idea of change. Change was that word which induced an uncomforting feeling in me. I was so sensitive towards it that my insides churned and twisted everytime I thought of the various changes that have and that will occur in my life. I always, ALWAYS preferred to live in a small, clustered world of mine, which was very very secure. Any thing which I thought would be a potential source of change in life, I would avoid it, be it a thing, situation or a person.

But like someone said ‘’People change as time changes, you see’’, and now I completely agree to that. Infact everything around us changes, its forever changing. Sometimes we notice the change, most of the time the change goes unnoticed, because we choose not to notice. I always preferred to ignore the change, very consciously most of the times as I said it is not a very comfortable thing for me. But I’ve seen me changing, a change which I think is for good. I have changed so much and so fast that when I look back I ask myself ‘’Oh! My God! Was that really me? I used to think like that? Look like that? Do stuff like that?’’ And since the change was positive I enjoyed it. I loved it. So then I questioned why am I so opposed to the negative or let’s put it in another way, less positive or less favourable changes in life? Why am I so closed to them? Why do I not handle them in a more matured way?

Why a change in institution affect me so badly? Or why the fact that a childhood friend now has changed and spends a little more time with his girlfriend irritates me? Or why the fact that a friend who leaves the city or country leaves me with the most uncomfortable feeling on earth with the idea that I may probably never be able to see that person again and that the person will forget me? Or why as a matter of fact that if I leave this place, I might be leaving behind everything and everyone I own and know?

Insecurity is what you may term this as. But its not insecurity. I am not an insecure person at all, I fear the change, used to fear the change. I don’t anymore, and that is very comforting. I have realized that change is the only constant thing in life, the sooner you accept it, better it is. Life is much much much more easier now that I have accepted the fact that change is inevitable and necessary aswell. No more angst in me because of this. I am a very happy person at this point of time. Changes have occurred, perspective has broadened, better things have happened and maturity has dawned in.  (Hopefully!)

I will love any change. A change in the world, in my life, in me or in you. 

PS: I wrote a small post on how much I hate/dislike change, maybe a year back, and now look at the 'change' in me ;-)

Does it ring a bell to YOU? ;-)

Tag :-D

 This tag I picked from The Rain Crab 's blog. Really liked it so I though I'll do it. You too can, if you want to. Tags are fun :-)

1. Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it.

A) I dont have any scar as such, but yeah I have got hurt plenty of times...like fell down a cycle and broke my head, fell down innumerable times and returned home with bleeding knees and elbows etc. :-p

2. What is on the walls in your room?

A) A calender, two posters, one notice board, and a wall hanging :-)

3. What does your phone look like?

A) It definitely looks pretty and thats why I own it. Its some slider thingy, Nokia 7610 Supernova.

4. What music do you listen to?

A) Anything except for heavy metal. Any song with amazing lyrics does the trick for me. I look for songs with meaning and ofcourse it depends on my mood aswell. Right now I am all obsessed with this one particular bengali song called 'Nirobe Dure', which means 'Faraway in silence'.

5. What is your current desktop picture?

Little self obsessed I am! :-p
 
6.What do you want more than anything right now?

A) A holiday, a break from everything and everyone I own and know. I think I've mentioned this couple of times. I really really need one break and then start afresh.

7. Do you believe in gay marriage?

A) Whats not there to believe in it? Anyway, yes I do.

8. What time were you born?

A) 7:50 pm, according to the birth certificate and mom.

9. Are your parents still together?

A) Yes :-)

10. What are you listening to?

A)  I am listening to a song ; 'I wish you were here' by Incubus.

11. The last person to make you cry?

A) My bua ji, before they left for Calcutta.

12. What is your favorite perfume/cologne?

A) Davidoff

13. What kind of hair/eye colour do you like on the opposite sex?

A) Black for both hair and eye :-)

14. Do you like pain killers?

A) They do relieve you from pain and thats when one can like them, but then they cause internal bleeding, so I try to avoid them as much as I can.

15. Are you too shy to ask someone out?

A) I am not shy, maybe more egoistic. I know I know it sucks, but I can't help it.

16. Fave pizza topping?

A) As long as it has chicken in it and its not sweet, I am happy!

17. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?

A) Ice-cream.

18. Who was the last person you made mad

A) No one!!! But I definitely made someone happy ;-)

19. Is anyone in love with you?

A) To fall in love, there is time. To love, I am already there. :-)

I am not very sure about that someone though. :-p

When 'They' came to Bombay

They here are my relatives (bua ji and her family) who came to Bombay (from Calcutta) for a vacation. They were here for 15 days and left yesterday night. I did not even realize  when these 15 days passed, it was like you-blink-and-its-over kind of a thing. I am of course missing them, especially my cousins. These few days were both good and bad for me. I, for more than million reasons was extremely  frustrated and mad at my mom, we were at loggerheads almost all the time. And I don't know why, why my relatives have the habit of interfering in every tiny itsy-bitsy piece of my life, to the extent of what film I watch and what food I eat. And of course they need to pass some judgment on everything I do, which is very annoying. I know they love me a lot and so do I, but then I need my space. I am not a kid anymore which they need to understand, and more than them my parents (especially my mom) need (needs) to understand. I understand you, you understand me, and ours will be a happy life! A very happy life indeed! :-)

Anyway, apart from all that it was fun exploring Bombay all over again. We had pretty good time, just that the heat tried to kill the fun, but we anyway did not give up :-p

Yes, they are twins!!!

So, like I said, apart from all the fiction and anger and stuff (which by the way is nothing new! :-p) things were pretty good. Oh, I did not mention this, I am done with college (I dont know whether I should be happy or sad!), I am almost a graduate now. Wow, I feel big :-D

The end to this journey with Sophia is like an end of an era. This is the place to be, I am what I am majorly because of this place :-)

Also, 29.05.2010 will always remain a very special day for me. I wont forget it, atleast for a very very very long time. Still exploring, and I am just loving it :-)

Saamne yeh kaun ayaa..

''Saamne yeh kaun ayaa dil mein hui hulchul,
Dekh ke bas ek hi jhalak ho gaye hum pagal...'' ;-)

I absolutely love this ad! Raymond ads are always awesome, but this one makes me smile sooooo much every time I watch it! And the guy in the ad (Keith Sequeira) has done the job so so sooooo damn well..!! Raised the standards! Now I want my guy to dance like that! Haha! (No, seriously.)

''Baatein, mulakatein, hum se bhi toh hongee,
Humse khulenge woh aaj nahi toh kal...'' :-p

;-)

Some things that I cannot share

There are some things in life that one simply cant share. Its like whatever you do, how much ever you want you just cannot share them. Not even with your parents, your 'chuddy buddies', your best friend, close friends, favourite cousin or your boyfriend or girlfriend. It just doesnt happen, the sharing just doesnt happen. So some things which I cannot, absolutely cannot share are:

1.BOOKS : Yeah! Be it academic or not, I cannot share my books. In the past I did share textbooks and novels and stuff unwillingly but I did share, gave it to people who wanted to read and all that. But then I never got back my books the way I gave them. People would invariably scribble with 'pen' in my textbooks (dirty handwriting!) and novels and story books would come back to me in a torn and tattered condition and I remember some of them werent even returned to me.

I expect people to handle books with care. Books remain with you forever. They are precious! Yes, I am one of those people who goes 'book-shopping' and I know almost all the 'gali-nukkads' where you can get any book under the sky. ANY BOOK. Right way or wrong way, but you do get! (I am not promoting piracy!).

So whenever I see any tattered or torn or a book in a bad condition my heart cries! It really does. So, I've stopped giving/sharing my books to/with anyone.

2.SHOES : People who know me know how shoe-crazy I am. Every second girl is, but I am just a little too much. I buy shoes first and then go hunting for clothes that might go with them, usually its the other way round. I 'maintain' my shoes. I clean them, dry them, keep them in a box after every wear. Almost all my shoes are kept in a box, except for my regular 'oshos' and 'kolhapuri chappals' haha! Now any shoe-lover will agree with me that such maintenance  is mandatory! So after all this how? How can one even think that I can share my shoes with anyone? Or give it to someone to wear it for a day for a party or for some function or for a date! How? What if she trips and breaks the heel? Or what if she spills something on the shoes? Or what if she walks on a real bad road or mud? I am not paranoid. I just cannot share. And I really find it weird when people agree to share or give their shoes. Weird in a good way, and then something in my mind says ''look! look! why cant you do that!''. But then I am not going to do that, ever!

3.RELATIONSHIPS : Any kind, cannot be shared. I am very specific about relationships. I have this need to know where I stand in people's lives, its like a compulsion. I hate any ambiguity when it comes to relationships. And I cannot, again I will mention, ABSOLUTELY cannot share relationships with anyone else. Its not like if you are my friend then you cannot be friends with others (thats so duh!), but its more like you cannot give the position and importance that I hold in your life to someone else. I may not be your priority, I dont care, but whatever space you have allotted for me in your life, that is exclusive and I am not sharing it with anybody. I will vacate, but not share.

So be it family, friends, classmates, acquaintances, best friend, romantic relationship, anything...I am not going to share.

Thats it. See, I cannot share only three things: books, shoes and relationships. Otherwise you want anything I will give or share but not these three things! I am not a very possessive person, I just like my little space :-)

Hello there everyone! How are you? Its been quite some days that I havent been blogging (thankgod at this moment its 'days', sometime back it was 'months'!!)

So the annoying reason which kept me away from writing was EXAMS! Yeah, like my friend said before they started ''mazak mazak mein aa hi gaye yeh exams phir se!!'' haha. These exams are such spoilers! And on top of that Mumbai University and its ways, double spoilers. My time table sucked to the core!! And its not like I am done with my exam, I have one more paper left.

29.03.2010 : Practicals
21.04.2010 : Industrial Psychology
22.04.2010 : Cognitive Psychology
26.04.2010 : Counseling
07.05.2010 : Abnormal Psychology
22.05.2010 : Testing and Statistics

I thought graduation will be a cake walk. I realised that its not. Very late, but I did realise!
Another not so good thing that I noticed is that how much ever I study, I dont seem to remember anything before the paper and it drives me maddddd! I mean how will you feel when your mind goes BLANK one day before the paper, and ofcourse revision becomes necessary. And in this case revision means reading the stuff all over again! Damn!!! University exams suck like full on!

Also 24.04.2010 was a good day :-)

Ira

''Lag ja gale ke phir yeh haseen raat ho naa ho...shayad is janam mein phir mulakat ho na ho...''

''You know what Ira, I just want the time to stop. I want to freeze this moment. I just want to lie like this with you, forever.''

''Forever?''. She giggled.

''Yes, forever. Why? You dont want to?''

''Paas aaeeye ke hum nahi aayenge baar baar...
bahe gale mein daal ke, hum ro le zaar zaar...''

''You know, you pass on your message so subtly. It hurts!''

''Do you have light?''

''I dont like when you smoke. Why can you smoke and I cannot?''

''Because I am elder to you and you've got to listen to me.''

''Fuck you!''


Smoking, looking at the dark sky with twinkling stars and lying with that one guy she loved. Ah! Life couldnt have been better. She too wanted to lie like this with him, FOREVER....

Ira met Vikram two years back, when Vikram's family moved into the city. Vikram needed a math tutor, and who better than Ira! She was the best math professor in the city. But she did not prefer giving tutions. But when Vikram approached her, she couldnt refuse. He was young, charming and charismatic. He had her at 'hello'.

They started with the math lessons, everyday, two hours.

He liked her company and so did she. Soon they started spending more time with each other, more than those two hours. Chatting, talking about things in general, politics, novels, philosophy, news, music, art et cetra. They grew fond of each other, came really close to each other. More importantly, understood each other.

''Ira, can I ask you a question?''

''Yea! Sure! Go on..!''

''Where is your husband? I mean I never saw him!''

''You sure didnt, because I dont have any husband.''

''What!! You never got married? Why?''

''Umm..because I never found my man. I had many men in my life, but none worth marrying'', she smiled.

''Yeah, I know. Ira, why do you smoke?''

''You ask too many questions!''

Thunder! Clouds clashed! It started raining. Raining heavily.

''Oh! How much I love rains!! Do you want to go up to the terrace?'' Ira asked Vikram.

''Yeah! I don’t mind. Infact I would love to!!''

Like kids they ran upstairs, opened the terrace door, and then…woohooo!

''I love! I love!! I absolutely love getting drenched in rain!!'' Ira exclaimed.

''And I love seeing you getting drenched in rain..'' Vikram told her, holding her around her waist.

Peals of laughter followed by moments that none could ever forget. Ever!




''Lag ja gale ke phir yeh haseen raat ho naa ho...shayad is janam mein phir mulakat ho na ho...''

Lying there, with a cigarette in hand, smoking, memories came rushing back to her. It has been 9 years now. She looked up at the dark sky, twinkling stars, slight breeze brushing through her face. Everything was just the same, except that she was lying there alone.

She had a card with her, a wedding invitation.

VIKRAM WEDS PRIYA.
WE HUMBLY SOLICIT YOUR GRACIOUS PRESENCE....


Crushing hopes, teardrop in her eye. She knew this would come, she always knew. But it hurt her this time, crushed her insides this time because she found her man and lost him. And what was the hardest was that she won’t find him again.

''Shayad phir is janam mein mulakat ho na ho...''

Stared back at the dark sky, smoked again.


PS: My first fictional story.

Then and Now..

I was just going through my old posts, and there I stumbled across one of posts : 'My wants'...some things which I wanted back then, in 2008. Its more than 2 years now and I can see that I really do have most of the things that I wanted back then!


1.I wanted my own digital camera, which I have now! :-D (Yeah! Dads are supercool!!)
2.I wanted a new cellphone. I know how much I cribbed for a new one, and everytime I hoped that it should fall and break, best if by my Mom! Mean, I know, but then thats the best way to get a new cellphone without even getting a yelling or whatever! :-p.
Anyway, I now have a really nice phone. No more ''I-want-a-new-phone'' cribbings for another 2 years! See I am a good child!
3.I wanted a laptop. I am still using a desktop.
4.I wanted to change my wadrobe! Successful. To some extent! ;-)
5.I wanted kolhapuri chappals!!!!!!!!..Have them. Silver ones. No no, zyada 'jhatak' nahi hai !! :-p


So it actually feels good that I now have almost all the things that I wanted back then! So, what do I want now? Lets see:

1.I want to pack my bags and just go somewhere far away. Preferably to the North-east. I've always wanted to do that, and I will hopefully do it someday. I need a break. A break from studies, family, friends, 'good friend', people I know, things I know, Bombay. Basically almost everything. I want to go backpacking. Alone.

2.I want to go to Goa. Yes, again. This time with friends, under NO 'ADULT SUPERVISION'. I mean, we all are adults now, we dont need security guards!! I dont know why most of the parents freak out when they hear their child say ''I want to go to GOA!!'' I mean that place is really cool. [Yes yes Rosanne, I know you'll love me for this! ;-)]

3.I want second ear piercings. By the way, I got my nose piercing done! Like finally!

4.Chop my hair short. Like really short and crazy. Just chop it off!!!!!

5.Start working on a certain thing thats there somewhere in the back of my mind. I just need to kick start. Rest will follow I know! (Will disclose about this when the right time comes!)

6.Want to slap/punch SOMEONE really hard and ask ''WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU? WHY DO I SENSE A WEIRD CHANGE IN YOU? WHY WHY WHY?''

7.Start learning a foreign language. Italian, preferably! :-)

8.Buy those 'purple boots'.

9.Steal Ma'am Mendes's wardrobe.

10.Make myself a more happy person! :-)

So, after 'evaluating' whatever I wrote that I want, some are materialistic but some arent. Some are achievable and some arent! My wants have increased and so has the level! Shows the change in me over these 2 years I guess. A drastic one.

PS: I know 'want 1' and 'want 2' are contradicting...but then, who cares! :-p

Since I love tags...

RULE 1- You can only say Guilty or Innocent.
RULE 2- You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks!
RULE 3- Copy and paste this into your notes, delete my answers, type in your answers and tag to your friends to answer this.

* Asked someone to marry you? Innocent
* Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Innocent
* Danced on a table in a bar? Innocent
* Ever told a lie? Guilty
* Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have back? Guilty
* Kissed a picture? Guilty
* Slept in until 5 PM? Guilty
* Fallen asleep at work/school? Guilty
* Held a snake? Innocent
* Been suspended from school? Innocent
* Worked at a fast food restaurant? Innocent
* Stolen from a store? Innocent
* Been fired from a job? Innocent
* Done something you regret? Innocent
* Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Guilty
* Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Innocent
* Kissed in the rain? Innocent :-(, :-p
* Sat on a roof top? Guilty
* Kissed someone you should'nt? INNOCENT
* Sang in the shower? Guilty
* Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Guilty
* Shaved your head? Innocent
* Had a boxing membership? Innocent
* Made a boyfriend cry? Innocent
* Been in a band? Innocent
* Shot a gun? Innocent
* Donated Blood? Innocent
* Eaten alligator meat? Innocent
* Eaten cheesecake? Guilty
* Still love someone you should'nt? Innocent
* Have/had a tattoo? Innocent
* Liked someone, but will never tell who? Innocent and Guilty
* Been too honest? Guilty
* Ruined a surprise? Guilty :-(
* Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn’t walk afterward? Guilty :-p
* Erased someone in your friends list? Guilty
* Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if you’re a guy) or man’s clothes (if you’re a girl)? Innocent
* Joined a pageant? Innocent
* Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? Guilty, hopefully.
* Had communication with your ex? Innocent
* Got totally drunk on the night before exam? Innocent
* Got totally angry that you cried so hard? Guilty

Just came across this one on someone else's blog. Thought I shall pick it up and do it. Ya ya, I know, old habbit. :-p

You too can, if you want to :-)

Single se Ideal Man tak!

These days wherever I go, whoever I meet I am bombarded with just one question which irritates me to the core, and the million dollar question is

''So, are you single?''

Silence.

''So! You are not single? Who is the guy?''

Silence.

''Arey! Bol na! Its no big deal!''

But then I dont want to say whether I am single or not! The fact that I did not pull out THIS one topic clearly should make you realise that I dont want to tell you about my 'relationship' status. You dont say anything and they will assume! You say something and they will definitely assume! People I tell you.

So the other day, when I was on a girly nightout the same topic came up. Now they to some extent have an idea of what I am upto and where exactly I am heading or what is happening in 'my life', but when it comes to the spicy hot topic of 'relationship' status, they too are pretty much lost just the way I am. Now you know why there is a 'silence' followed after the ''are you single'' question, because I simply dont know. I dont know whether I am single or not, neither is there any effort from my side to know about it. With this I am cool, but with what I not-so-cool is that I DONT KNOW about this tiny bit of my life and which is very irritating. I am that kind of a person who needs to know everything, like EVERYTHING! So yes, this one bit is very irritating and annoying. But on the other hand I dont even want to explore. Confused ass! I know.

Anyway another very 'interesting' topic that usually comes up in such nightouts and which did come up in ours too was about 'MY IDEAL MAN'. I mean, all of us (girls) do think about 'that one guy' right? The one who will love us like crazy, will fight for us, will kill that villainous guy who eyes us, will sing for us or dance for us, will make romantic dinners and take us out for dates. When we'll be with them, we are the only one he will be looking at, will make us laugh,cant stand even one tear drop and all the other goodies that you can think of. Right? Mills and Boons. Very.

Even though aware of this ALL of us do picture our guy to be like this. (Now dont say..''huh! I dont!'', cuz you know YOU DO!). No harm though, just that we do face disappointment, because such a guy doesnt exist! Unfortunately, but true.

So realizing this, we start bitching about men, whether he be your brother or boyfriend or best friend. ''MEN ARE SUCH JERKS!''..cracks me up everytime I hear this one line! Haha! They dont seem to get anything. You need to be straightforward with them. ALL THE TIME! Yuck! The word 'hint' doesnt feature in their dictionary. Idiots.

Basically moral of the story is: no prince charming exists! Men are jerks! But still you need them. (Except if you are a lesbian! In that case, woman you are lucky, you love another very intelligent woman, and thus you dont have to go through what we go through.)

Anyway even though I know about all the 'harsh' reality and I mentioned some above, I still am waiting for my 'GERRY KENNEDY'. Just a little hope, that he may exist. Haha

I cannot think of a title because....

Life, in general is so simple. You have a set plan. You know what you will be doing for today, tomorrow and day after and so on...At least most of the things fall into the proper places, where they are meant to fall, and thoda bahut idhar-udhar toh chalta hi hai ;-p

What if there is a deviation, major or minor, but a deviation which has the potential to affect you and your life. Positive or negative or maybe both. Happens right? How do you cope up with that?

What if if that deviation is not any event, but just a thought or idea? Some thought that occupies your mind majorly! A thought that doesn't let other thoughts to fit in. A thought that you really want to get rid of, but it is just so demanding that it doesn't leave you. What then? Seriously! What then?

''I know you want me...you know I want ya!''

I want to! I dont want to! I mean I dont know!

Its not wrong...is it?

I am sooo done with you!

For a year now, you made me do things which I otherwise dont do.

You made me read innumerable amount of blacky-badly-printed photocopied papers.

You made me think about other men and their work. Day and night!

You made me work like an ass. ( Donkey wala ass!)

You made me spend precious hours of my life with you.

You forced me to forget that I have a social life!

You made me type and type and type.

You made me forget about my lunch and dinner 'n' number of times.

You made me hunt for 'S' and in some cases 'Ss'. It wasnt any less than begging...''please come! please come!! Pleaseee!!''

You made me sacrifice sleep!

You made me cranky, you made me crib and you made me cry!

You made me nervous, every damn time I had you. EVERYTIME. Me nervous!

But now Mister! I am oh so done with you. I dont give two hoots to you! Muhahahahahaha!

And I know just where to touch you
And I know just what to prove
I know when to pull you closer
And I know when to let you loose
And I know the night is fading
And I know the time's gonna fly
And I'm never gonna tell you
Everything I gotta tell you
But I know I gotta give it a try


Everytime I see you all the rays of the sun
Are streaming through the waves in your hair
And every star in the sky is taking aim at your eyes
Like a spotlight

The beating of my heart is a drum and it's lost
And it's looking for a rhythm like you
You can take the darkness from the pit of the night
And turn into a beacon burning endlessly bright

I've gotta follow it 'cause everything I know
Well it's nothing till I give it to you

And I'm never gonna make it like you do
Making love out of nothing at all....

I just chose certain lines, well because I precisely feel that way. Why? For whom...let that remain unanswered. :-)

PS: Air Supply!

Tttttaggggg!

Some characteristics of my ''MAN''

1. brown hair | black hair | blonde hair | red hair
2. tall | short | same height as you
3. ears | eyebrow piercings | snake bites | no piercings | other
4. tattoos | no tattoos...anything will do as long as he can carry it :-)
5. skater | punk | player | indie | cowboy | musician | prep | jock | other
6. shy | outgoing | in between
7. mellow | hyper | loud | quiet
8. blue eyes | brown eyes | green eyes....black
9. wears tight jeans | wears normal jeans | other
10. converse | vans | nikes | skate shoes | other
11. listens to: metal | rap | indie | classic rock | country | all | other
12. compliments too much | compliments when necessary
13. jokes around all the time | jokes when necessary
14. sensitive | hides emotion | acts tough
15. hobbies: computer | music | skating | sports | drawing | fishing | other
16. loves to hold | loves to be held
17. tons of muscles | fit | skinny | chubby
18. pale | average | tan | dark
19. wavy hair | curly hair | straight hair | long hair | short hair | longish hair
20. glasses

If you take this tag: leave a comment :)
Post yours in comment. :)

Happy V' Day

Belated in this case.

So what did I do this year on this day? Well nothing much. I kind of had a date with Star Movies and my Counseling textbook (yeah, bite me! :-p).

They were showing some pretty amazing films on Star movies and I am a sucker for romantic flicks. Just love them!! So it was like a good day for me, because otherwise these people choose not to play such films.

Anyway, other than that no romance or love is happening here (and its NOT sad and it doesnt suck!), but it doesnt even mean that its great. I am unaffected. (*smiles widely*)

You spin my head right round..right round... ;-)

16/01/2010 was the day. Time post 10 pm, starts our awesome-possum nightout!!!

Venue: Moon di's place.

People: Monali didi, Moon didi, Shompi didi, Topa, Rakesh dada, Pavi and me. (Yeah, bong nicknames!!)

Food: Auntie's biryani (which was yummmm!!!)

Movies: Kung-fu panda and Hangover ;-)

Game: Twister

One suggestion, if you drink then never play twister after drinking and if you dont drink, make those drunkards play twister. For obvious reasons :-D

It was one crazy night!!

Since 31st October 2009....

Okay, I have been pretty much like a vegetable since 31st October,2009. But then that is just when it comes to blogging. I was sooooo busy since then. I mean ofcourse not like the Prime Minister, but I was busy.

I had K'scope (which was postponed and a huge hit!), exams, results, submissions, horrible practicals, projects, tests, black-list, night-outs, movies, friends, family and much more to handle!

K'scope was loads of hard-work and fun and tension and goof ups. I had two most annoying colleges on campus, with the most irritating Contingent leaders who just came to Bombay to meet relatives and lovers! (I am talking about the outstation colleges). Anyway apart from these people, others were as usual awesome and nice! We had no problem with them at all. Also, thanks to Kscope, I stayed in the college hostel for a week. The hostel, without any terms and conditions and without any rules...where we could sleep at 3 am and get up at 10 am. Take bath at 4 am and again at 3 pm. Where no Sister Kirti came knocking the doors to collect the cellphones (Oh, incase you dont know, the college hostel has a weird rule where the hostelites have to submit their phones by 10 pm...yes, weird I know. But rules are meant to be broken, and they do it really well...wont tell you how though! *yeah bite me*). Where the mess food was good, wi-fi was on 24x7. :-D

I stayed in room 17, that is Anam and Nusrat's room. I got to sleep on anam's bed and that fool slept down, because I was her guest. Fool that she is. Never get the same treatment in class though! :-p

Oh I also got the best TY coord award. I was so happy and I cried soo much, because it was my last kscope. :-(

After kscope, bang!!! we had our exams...horrible, terrible word! But we had and we gave and we overcame! :-D

Then December and January were hectic months, thanks to project submissions and practicals. Anyway in middle of all that...I got my nose pierced (yay!!!), it was Coffee's birthday (not that he celebrated it. Ek treat bhi nahi mila...dude! read! :-p) and had an awesome nightout at Moon di's place (saw 2 fatang movies, ate, played and had loads of fun :-D).

Oh I was even black-listed for lack of attendence. But thats like bullshit. Because I am a very regular student, and I have my records, but a particular someone who happens to be my professor and the vice-principle was indeed surprised that my name was in the blacklist, exclaimed "oh even you are there" and then refused to re-check! :-x

Anyway, right now apart from academics nothing much is happening. Also, in another 4 months I will be a graduate! Yes, a graduate and then another journey will begin. I feel so big already :-D.....aaaa..no actually I dont.













PS: Photo courtesy: Photography team, K'scope 2009.